When New York Times asks,

tell them I was an overnight

success from small-town

Canada who wrote some

songs and made it big. 

When the local newspaper asks, tell them this: 

i don't fucking know what I'm doing. twenty-four years already feels like such a long life. i got into college in Boston. After 2 auditions. Moved to New York City, signed a management deal (then un-signed a management deal), tried to write songs I thought the world would want to hear, chased the typical wannabe-fame and high life and tried to make it big as fast as possible. and then my foreign-visa expired, my creativity dried up, living on friends’ couches in New York wasn’t quite working anymore. social media and the entertainment industry and the people around me all seemed too fake for my soul. Mama said to come home for a bit. So I did, thinking I’d failed – back to small town Canada to the cattle farm I was raised in, in the small town that’s filled with simple people who have some of the greatest wisdom about what matters in life.

And it was during the summer there that suddenly all my stories I’d been living, the crazy adventures I’d gone on, and the feelings I felt while going through it all, poured out into songs. I realized there was nothing to prove, no art I had to make that the world needed to hear, no dream I had to pursue… all I had to do was tell my story and realize that it’s okay to just be the girl from somebody’s hometown. maybe me being authentically myself is all i came to earth to experience. 

 

so earlier this year (2018) I moved back to nyc (this baby got her USA visa on her own), said I'm going all the way or I'm gonna die. and so far I haven't died, so things are looking pretty great. 
 

starting Sept 2018 I'm releasing songs I've written over the past year. my sister likes some of them. She said people can relate. I think my grandparents will like some of them. my mom's probably gonna cry and wish she could save me from myself. I hope all those men knew what they were getting into when they got into me (insert tongue emoji). i hope i say everything ive ever wanted to say and live every experience i've ever wanted to taste. I will. I feel it already. 

im 24, and i don't really understand any of this. but i love it. I love the insanity. and it's gonna be massive. you don't need to like any of it. you just have to watch. and then at the end of it all i'm gonna go home. back to the mountains and cows and the instant coffee my step-dad drinks every morning before chores. but for now, 

fuck it. we're going big. 

© 2018 by Elena Goddard